The Truth of Her Existence
by poe1911
Summary: A follow up to "Why do You Hate Him?" Dawn and Xander in Africa. A dark fic.
1. Chapter 1

This is a follow up to my story "Why do you hate him?". For those who haven't or don't want to read that story, the summary is easy, Xander always crashes and burns at love because Angel has manipulated the people around Xander so he is always alone. He does this in hopes that Xander will finally turn to him, and Dawn figures this out. Anyway, this is a dark fic so be prepared. As always I do not own anything related to Buffy, that is the property of Joss and the parasitic suits that live off of his creativity. Criticism is appreciated, but please no pointless flames or rants, they make my two brain cells hurt. Thank you for reading and enjoy.

POE1911

THE TRUTH OF HER EXISTENCE

Xander was dead and that was the truth of Dawn's existence. She'd been there for three months, ever since she had finished her watcher's training. She'd spent that time re-introducing Xander to the humanity he seemed to have left back in the crater that had been Sunnydale; but now he was gone. She could remember their slayers bringing his body back to their lonely compound in Kenya, all of them crying unashamedly and Dawn wailing in her grief and denial and loss. It had been a single shot to the heart, those who truly knew Xander would say that it was poetic. The authorities said it was a random killing, like so many in Africa. That night the slayers went looking for vengeance, but all they found were demons who were ignorant of what had happened; unfortunately for these demons, the slayers used them to vent their rage. Later that night they were gathered around the table when Kewithe had muttered "maybe the man had something to do with it". 

"What man" Dawn had asked.

"He was a stranger, dark and handsome; he came here that day you were in Nairobi."

"Could you tell if he was evil; or part demon?"

"No" Kewithe had answered "he was human, but he and Xander argued and the man left in a hurry and Xander was very agitated for the rest of the day."

Dawn remembered Xander acting a little off that day, but she had put it out of her mind. Now, as she sat a vigil over his body she knew who it had been, and she knew what had happened. She remembered a conversation many years ago in Los Angeles and a word that she'd heard from her sister 'sanshu'. Dawn knew what had happened, knew it as surely as if she'd witnessed the whole thing. Angel had gotten his sanshu and was now human. Idly she wondered if he had actually earned it, or if the Powers were simply removing a loose cannon from the board. As a human he was free to love and so he had come to the one person he'd never admitted to loving. Dawn could see Xander's reaction, anger, disgust, pity; she could see the realization in Angel's eyes and the knowledge that Xander would never be his. Three days later Xander was dead, no doubt at Angel's behest. Dawn knew what she had to do and her hand slipped into her pocket and came out with an object; a souvenir from her days as a thief, one of the few she hadn't returned. Carefully she examined the medallion and then quietly she began to chant.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

"Who dares summon D'Hoffryn" the demon's voice boomed out "know that I shall…..oh, hello there, I didn't expect it to be you" he said as he caught sight of Dawn. Then he became aware of the body in the room and he stooped to examine it "yes, I'd been told that some had seen him, I figured it was true after I couldn't find Anyanka's spirit anywhere. I must say I was expecting a call but not from you."

"The others don't know, at least not yet."

"Ahhh, but you, you know the who's and why's and you want to do something about it, I can feel it seething in your brain."

"I do"

"But why summon me; I would expect you to have a visitor rather soon."

"Maybe, but I wish to call vengeance on a champion of the Power's, and I want nothing to thwart my desire in this matter; they have no power over you in this area but might over some of your minions."

"A champion" D'Hoffryn said then he brightened in understanding "so Liam is responsible for this ehhh, I must confess I'm amazed he finally committed to something." Then the demon lord turned his gaze on the young woman "so what is your wish?"

"I wish that Angel would suffer as he made Xander suffer, I wish that he might almost taste love only to have it taken away time and time again. I wish that any affection would turn to affliction, and all caring to pain. I want no one other than Angel to hurt, none that he love can be killed only lost to him and I want him to live his full life, no suicide will be successful, no untimely end for him, I want him to live a lifetime in anguish" Dawn finished, her the sound of her voice now harsh and rasping. 

D'Hoffryn smiled, it was a terrible smile "now that was a wish and a half, do you mind if I use it as an example for others?"

"No" Dawn mumbled "feel free". She felt hollow now, all the passion had left her body and she felt numb and cold.

"Thank you" D'Hoffryn said with a mocking little bow "and wish granted" he then disappeared in a puff of smoke.

Still Dawn sat there with Xander's body, she knew she might have damned her soul with that wish but she couldn't find it in herself to care, after all she'd already lost her heart. 

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Buffy snuggled into her lover's side, his warm human side. It still amazed her that Angel was now human, no stupid happiness clause, no specter of Angelus, nothing to get in the way of their happiness. As she lay there, running her hands lightly over his body, a thought just popped into her head "Angel"

"Yeah"

"Why did you bring Xander with you when you came to the Master's cave?"

"I told you, because I couldn't do CPR."

"But how did you know I'd need it, I mean who drowns in a cave after all?"

THE END


	2. The Alternative, Happy Ending

A/N After I finished and posted "The Truth of Her Existence", my daughter read it. She burst into tears (whether at the story or the bad writing, I'm not sure) and smacked me in the head. She then insisted on a happy ending. So here it is, a happy alternative ending to "Why Do You Hate Him". Enjoy

THE ALTERNATIVE TRUTH OF HER EXISTENCE

Xander was hers, and that was the truth of Dawn's existence. She'd joined him in Africa over three months ago, when the time had come to learn the practical side to being a watcher. She had heard the expected complaints from Giles and her sister, but Dawn pointed out that Xander was the best field watcher the Council had, and she wanted to learn from the best. So she'd come to Africa and tried to get Xander to re-connect to the humanity he seemed to have left behind when Sunnydale turned into a crater. It had been slow going, and at times she wondered if it, if he was worth the effort. But then she'd watch him work with their slayers, and she saw the artless way that he had with them and knew that reclaiming Xander was worth any effort. They had been doing well until that day, the day he came.

Dawn had been in Nairobi, securing the supplies they'd need for the next two months. When she'd gotten back Dawn had noticed that Xander seemed agitated about something but she'd written it off as one of his mood swings. But after dinner she'd confronted him about it and he told her what had happened.

"Deadboy came by while you were gone."

"What did he want?"

"He wanted me to know he's human now, he got his big sanshu."

"So, why tell you" Dawn had asked even if she already knew the answer.

"He said he loved me" Xander replied, almost too quiet to be heard.

"What?"

"He said he loved me and has loved me for a long time."

"I take it your reaction wasn't what he was hoping for."

"Nah, I was pretty freaked out and I let him know that."

"I see" Dawn paused "Xander; I want you to be extra careful for a while."

"Why?"

"Because Angel can be dangerous and when it comes to you, I don't think he'll stop at anything."

"What are you talking about" he asked.

Dawn sighed "sit down and get comfortable, this is gonna take a while" and she told him everything, everything she knew or suspected, all the clues she'd found and the secrets she'd uncovered. It was a lot of ground to cover but in the end she convinced Xander to take every possible precaution because "I think he might just go the 'if I can't have it, no one can' route; and that's not acceptable."

It happened three days later, the gunshot, the struggle and the capture. Xander's chest was bruised and three of his ribs were cracked, but the Kevlar vest had saved his life. Kewithe, the slayer detailed to shadow him that day had seen the assassin and had beaten him severely before she brought him into the compound. Xander had wanted to talk to him, but Dawn had insisted on doing this herself. It had taken four hours, but eventually she got a name, a name she was familiar with. She then made two calls; the second was to her sister.

"Buffy"

"Dawn, what's the matter?"

"I need you to come down here right now, you and Willow and Giles."

"What's going on?"

"It's Xander, please hurry" and then she hung up the phone.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Twelve hours later, the three core Scoobies, plus two guests arrived at the compound in Kenya. Buffy ran to her sister even before the helicopter rotor stopped spinning "Dawn what is it; what about Xander?"

"He was shot in the chest" Dawn replied, her voice clipped and tears rolling down her cheeks.

Buffy just gasped and hugged her sister tightly. Both Willow and Giles had heard Dawn's reply and joined the group hug; Kennedy and Angel hung back, they were not really part of this. The group slowly moved to the main building, it was difficult with all the tears and hugging that was going on. Once they got there, they were immediately aware of two constables standing at attention; one thick and fair haired the other tall and thin. Before they could ask why they were there, the two moved forward and wrestled Angel to the wall and the thin one spoke. "Mr. Liam O'Rourke, you are charged with conspiracy to commit murder; I am placing you under arrest and taking you to Nairobi where you will stand trial.

"Wait a minute" Buffy started but Dawn gently pulled her back and said "wait".

Protesting his innocence the entire time, Angel was led away.

Buffy turned to her sister "just what was that all about?"

"Angel hired a man to kill Xander" Dawn bluntly replied.

Everyone sat down, too stunned to speak almost to mind numbed to think about what they'd just heard. Finally Willow cleared her mind enough to ask "why would he do that?"

"Love, as crazy as that sounds" Xander said as he walked in from the other room.

He was immediately tackled by a blond and red headed blur, who; after making certain that he was alright, started berating him for letting them think he was dead.

"Sorry guys, but we had to make sure that Deadboy wasn't tipped off, he had to be arrested here."

"But Xander" Willow persisted "you never really told us why he'd try to have you killed."

"I'll take that one" Dawn said "but it's a long story so get comfortable."

The reactions to the story were mixed; Giles was livid, Buffy was disgusted and Willow was shaken up. The witch was trying to figure out if Tara had really loved her or if it had just all been an act. She walked outside and stared up at the nearly full moon.

"She loved you" a voice said from behind her.

She whirled to see Xander standing there with a sad smile on his face "you know she did."

"How do I know that?"

"Because if it had been an act, she would have left as soon as you came out of the closet; once your head was turned away from me, her job was done. No from what I gathered Deadboy just set her out to be found, and once you two had met he counted on your feelings, both your feelings to pull you away from me."

"But how could he have hurt you like that if he truly loved you?"

"Come on Will, you know how love makes you do the wacky; I imagine that to him it made perfect sense."

"I suppose" she replied, then arm in arm they headed back towards the others; "so what about you and Dawn" Willow asked with fake innocence.

Xander stumbled.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Angel was now in jail and the others had headed back to their assignments, only now they kept in better touch. As for the two of them, it had taken two months to convince Xander that she truly did love him, and that she wasn't going anywhere; and they had been together ever since. She gave a secretive smile as she snuggled into his side in their bed, she couldn't wait to tell Xander that he was going to be a father.

THE END, AGAIN


End file.
